Of Love

It’s been a harsh year for some.

It’s been a wonderful year for others.

But it’s definitely been life-changing for everyone I know.

Acceptance.

That is what this year has taught me. 

Acceptance of our situation, whether we like it or not. 

Just like everyone else, I walked into the New Year with dreams in my eyes and a skip in my step. And just like a lot of people I know, I plunged neck deep into the negativity and angst this year has dished out. And if I hadn’t learnt to accept things the way they were, people for who they are and situations for what they had brought, I wouldn’t have made it through this year.

In the past few years, I dealt with situations differently. Denial of things that were plain obvious, led me to frustration. I tried to change situations without truly understanding their true nature, tried to change people the same way. I fought against what life threw at me, but in probably a wrong manner. I fought against the wrong things, and that is why I never saw any progress.

2016 taught me that to accept things as they were, and THEN work on them. It made going with the flow much easier, it made arriving at solutions more effortless. Fighting against things that I had no control over, had led to a lot of heart break and pain. Instead, I have slowly learnt to welcome (sometimes gracefully, sometimes not) what life has in store for me and that has worked to my advantage far often than I can count.

Honesty.

This year taught me to be honest with myself first, and then with others.

It’s easy to let someone down or make them feel good by saying what they want to hear. White lies come so easy, like second nature to us. We do so many things in life convincing ourselves that it’s for the good, or that we’re doing the right thing. But I realized that the truth, however harsh, once accepted sets us free. I sound preachy, I know. However, just being honest seems to help in avoiding so much of follow-up conflict. I’ve learnt to say no to things for the plain reason that I can’t do them or I don’t want to. And I’ve probably hurt a few people along the way, but it has helped our relationship over time. It’s made the relationship more open for us to be ourselves without unnecessary expectations. And it’s set us free.

Compassion. 

The world needs so much of it right now.

We’ve been bombarded with so much negativity this year, and honestly I can’t help but believe that the only way we can make it through is by being compassionate to everyone around us. A kind word will change lives. What is the need to be rude or judgmental? How much will it help us along the way? Every day, wake up and promise yourself to be kind. It’s a lesson I’ve carried forward from last year and it’s helped me far more than I can imagine. Empathize with people, even if they hurt you. It’s helped me rise from so many situations, it’s helped me heal my pain, it’s helped me understand their pain and it’s made life so much more beautiful, even in the face of negativity.

Lastly however, and probably the most important thing I’ve taken from this difficult year that 2016 has been – is Stop Taking Things for Granted.

This Christmas, a couple of my close friends and I watched The Lion King.

And even though several years have passed, and many heartwarming animated movies have made their way into our lives, none have touched me the way The Lion King has. This movie holds a very special place in my heart, for it was my first ever animated film in the theatre, and it was with my dad.

And while watching the movie this time, I guess I re-learnt one of the biggest lessons I have failed to learn over the last few years. Stop taking things for granted. Believe it or not, this is a reminder I need to give myself every day, in fact a few times every day. Apparently, it’s a lesson I simply refuse to learn.

I’ve noticed that invariably the one thing we take for granted the most is our family and more specifically, our parents. I know I have. I’ve yelled, fought and slammed doors. Blamed them for things just because I could and been an outright brat. Despite that, I recognize that they’re the first people to be there for me when I’m low and have encouraged and loved me unconditionally.

We go out of our way for our friends and other loved ones, make extra efforts to please them and yet put our own family in the back seat in the list of priorities. Well maybe, I shouldn’t be talking for everyone but I know I have a lot to change over the coming few years. I know that over time, we will be filled with regret for the time not spent with our loved ones, for the harsh words and for the lack of kindness. And that needs to change. Now.

I don’t want to lose any more time with the ones I love, I want to rise above my emotions and be kind and most importantly I want to balance out all the negativity that we are surrounded by. I know I sound more and more preachy in these notes as the years go by, but I believe that they serve as a reminder over the year on what is truly important in life.

Love yourself and others.

Nothing else truly matters.

Happy New Year, everyone.