Hotarubi

“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”

Each year, I start the year with a Bucket List of ‘10 Things I Want to Achieve This Year’.

The first few years, the list lay buried below a number of other documents, barely acknowledged. As the years passed though, I realized that placing that tiny tick-mark next to each item gave me more satisfaction than I’d imagined. Each time, life just seemed that much more exciting.

This year, I ticked six things off the list and I believe that’s a fairly good number. From all the small and big things however, I realized one thing. That while I've always believed I’m a planner, turns out – I’m not. That every major event or every small moment; did not come from careful planning. They were a result of spontaneity. They all occurred when I did not think of the consequences of my actions, but instead jumped right in. And I loved every minute of it.

I decided I wanted a tattoo, and I got one. I decided I wanted to start a blog, and I started one. I decided I wanted to travel alone, and I did. And with each one of them, my sense of fulfillment grew. Somewhere I've come to believe that if you really want to do something, you have to do it right away while you’re in that moment of zeal. Waiting for the right time at times just seems over-rated. Sometimes you just have to believe it’ll go right, and take that step. I've realized that more often than not everything falls into place after that.

In March this year, I quit my job. I thought that would have been one of the most difficult things I would have had to do, but it wasn't. I wanted to study art and take Confetti more seriously. So that’s what I did. However, within a month I slacked. I went out every day and whiled away my time.

In July this year, I went to Spain with nine of my cousins (cousins I hadn't met in years). It was a full house, crazy and fun. Yet I managed to steal away some alone time. One being my walk back from a nightclub at 4 a.m. for a good two hours. On the way, I got lost. I almost nodded off to sleep when I sat down to rest. I met several prostitutes on the way. I bought a cup of coffee at McDonald. I asked for directions to the wrong place. And slowly, at sunrise I found a small library where a kind gentleman checked Google maps and pointed me in the right direction to my hostel. Through this entire walk though, not once was I scared. Surprisingly, I walked the roads confidently as though it was my home town.

In the later part of July, I went scuba diving and experienced a beautiful world down under. I've always been quite afraid of the sea, so when my friend called me to ask if she can book our passes, I surprised even myself when I said yes.

In August this year, I met a friend I’d been talking to for years but never had the chance to meet. The result was a few days of being transported to a different world altogether. We discussed life and ideas, laughed a lot, talked a lot and walked around the city. It was almost as if someone was showing me an entirely different way to live the life I had always lived. It was beautiful, to say the least.

In the later part of August, we found out my dad had cancer. There began a journey I never thought I’d take. Fortunately, we found out at a very early stage. Tests, biopsies and a surgery later – dad was fine and cancer free. This however, had been the hardest month of all our lives. This was the month that taught me to value life. It was the month that grounded me.

In September this year –I made a come-back from my slacking stage. I couldn't waste any more time.  My family needed my support. I started working very hard towards achieving my goals. I stopped going out with my friends, I found a writing job, and I started a new collection for Confetti. I started taking control of my life. Not surprisingly, I grew. In September, I grew up.

In November this year – I almost gave up on Confetti. I was low and I couldn't find it in me to push through. Two days later, I featured in the paper. A half-page article dedicated entirely to Confetti. My dad had tears of joy while reading the article. He was so proud. It was one of the happiest days of my life. I had made my parents proud of what I had achieved. A venture they hadn't believed in first. I had made them believe in me.

In December, as I look back at all the decisions I made this past year – I regret nothing. I have loved every moment – small or big equally. I have learnt and grown. And this would NOT have been possible without every single person who’s been around helping me through some of the most trying times. And with each passing year, I have come to believe that it’s only because of these beautiful people around me that I have become this person I am today.

This year has instilled in me a renewed enthusiasm and passion for life. It has shown me that I can take control of my own life and steer it in any direction I want to. It has shown me that I have nothing to be scared about even if I am alone. It has shown me that people are different, every one of us, and the only way we will be happy is to accept these beautiful differences and incorporate them to make us whole. It has shown me that there is SO much out there to explore, that there is no point in wasting a single moment being lazy. I may have hated this year, but I have downright LOVED this year.

I cannot wait to live some more. I cannot wait to discover more. I cannot wait to love some more. And I cannot WAIT for 2014!

With a final quote, I bid adios to 2013. See you all next year ;)

“When she realized she was the author of her life, she set out to write the most amazing story ever!”